Monday, 9 March 2015

Baby Free Time

by Bex

It's been a tough week this week but it's Saturday and I am currently sitting at the comfy (not so practical) end of the sofa with my feet up, feeding pillow far away.  The music's on full volume throughout the house sound system as I have no babies to listen out for or risk disturbing.  It's currently a bit of good old Stereophonics blasting out and I'm loving it.  I've never been able to do it before as we were in a flat but now we're in the countryside in a detached house I can go mad - because I'm HOME ALONE!  Nik has taken the babies for a walk in the South Downs with his brother and some friends (and a pub stop along the way).  We planned ahead and kept them distracted this morning until the last minute so they'd take a good feed (and he has a bottle of expressed milk with him just in case) so he could have the maximum time out before having to return to the boobs!

I, on the other hand, am thoroughly enjoying a few hours off mummy duty.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't swap being a mother for the world but everyone needs some me time now and then and it's been SO long since I could properly relax.  Even when Nik has them downstairs so I can have a nap or bathe, I often hear at least one of them crying and can't relax, often cutting short whatever my activity is as I'm worried/woken/disturbed/needed for feeding.  Funnily enough, now I've had a reasonable night's sleep and a nice long wrinkly bath, I actually feel like doing some exercise!  I've been trying to drag myself out for walks lately with the twins as I simply don't have time for a regular class and swimming just seems like too much effort with the minimal time I could get out for on an evening.  I'm fed up with the saggy belly and my thighs are getting fatter, I want to try to get a bit fitter since I've been putting ON weight again post-pregnancy (I obviously lost the weight of the babies when they were born) I am now back up to my pregnancy weight due to all the eating!

Breast feeding (two babies no less) makes me ravenous.  I am always hungry and obviously not choosing the right things to eat.  I'm not going to diet, I won't risk my milk supply, but I do want to be healthier.  I just find it SO hard not to grab the easiest thing (crisps, chocolate, microwave meals) or the tastiest (and therefore not very healthy) as eating's often something exciting to do in a day of feedings, naps and nappies when I'm alone with the twins.  When I'm knackered or feeling a bit fed up due to double fractiousness, I definitely reach for foodie treats too.  When I lost a stone 2 years ago over 6 months, I mostly ate salads with yummy bits of chicken or prawns and I do love salad.  I just don't have the time to spend chopping etc and they don't keep well if prepared in advance.  Nik's tried to help by buying pre-chopped carrots and houmous to snack on instead but I find that quite boring.  The thing I tend to eat most when hungry and short on time is cereal - I particularly love chocolate mini weetabix, they're tasty, filling and the milk (I use/drink skimmed milk at least) quenches my thirst too although I'm also drinking gallons with breastfeeding - mostly milk and fizzy water :)

I think it's bothering me more at the moment as we have a wedding to go to next weekend and I am very conscious of my minimal (still maternity and obviously breast feeding friendly) wardrobe which isn't very flattering now.  I wasn't expecting to spring back to shape nor was I very bothered while I'm breast feeding but sometimes it does get me down.  I can't even see my scar (which I quite like as my permanent reminder of them arriving) without lifting my belly out of the way.  Mostly, though, I don't have time to worry about it!

I want to write about the twins more, I wish I could keep up a diary even just once a month of their progress, funny things they do, their cute wee faces.  I love having my pregnancy updates to look back on and want to try to find the time to write even a wee bit once a week so I have a record of all the fun twin updates (and not so fun like the 5am projectile vomit incident from a screaming Kal where we had to change the sheets, mattress protector, sponge the headboard and base and change my PJS and pants!  That was an impressive one K!).  I'd also love to remember to take more photos of them with my camera and not just hundreds of iPhone snaps - you can see I go mad when I do get the SLR out, they were on particularly good form that day!

I'm hoping when Nik's parents live closer they'll want to spend some regular time with the twins which might give me an hour or so occasionally to just nap, shower or write depending on how things have been, while they play with the twins.  It is hard constantly doing it alone and I find things much easier if we can get out every day, even just for a walk in the village.  The Tuesday pop-in is great and I always get a cuppa there, we have baby dates with other local mums now too and I've been out shopping with the twins (with varying success) when I needed things for them/me.  The problem is though that they then nap in the car/buggy and I still don't actually get to nap/bathe/write - the things that help me feel like me!  When Nik gets home from work it's great to have an extra pair of hands but we often rush to have dinner while the twins are happy before we start the bedtime feed/bath/massage/feed routine and by the time both twins are asleep, I just want to join them (after another bowl of cereal!) and Nik's knackered too.

Today in my couple of hours off, I have had a bubble bath with a magazine (and naughty snacks again!), plucked my eyebrows, removed old toenail varnish, trimmed and filed all my nails, painted my toenails, written this blog post and downloaded the latest pics off the Nikon memory card.  I feel fab and I'm so glad I managed a decent sleep night thanks to the twins finally getting over their recent screaming escapades and mini sleeps!  I thought I'd spend this time getting a good nap but it feels great to actually DO something.  Yesterday was actually a good day too with them both being happy simultaneously with one or the other in the jumperoo a lot of the time, I'm so glad they're big enough and strong enough for it now.  I managed to do a wee sewing project for a family wedding next weekend as they even had a simultaneous nap - something else that has been a challenge lately leading to me getting increasingly knackered and dirty - lets face it, it's just not the same washing at a sink or with baby wipes!

I'm sure they're not over this fractious stage yet - I wish I knew what, if anything is causing it.  I often have trouble feeding them together at the moment as they so often seem to get upset when eating which definitely contributes to separate naps and no time at all for me to rest!  Even at night when we manage to get them in sync again, they have been sleeping for shorter times.  Until last night I suddenly got a 5 hour stretch from both at once!  Wonderful!

This post is clearly made up of lots of ramblings despite having a rough idea of what I wanted to write about before I started but weeks of semi writing posts in my head yet no time to actually blog means many thoughts are now spilling out at once!  I will attempt to write a basic update about the twins from now on as if I keep thinking how I wish I managed to start it before, I will regret not starting it now while I have the chance.  I'm not even going to talk about the baby books!  Luckily they haven't had many firsts yet anyway!

There's a lovely pink sky outside now and Daddy's on his way home with the twins, I now have Amy MacDonald playing and will hopefully manage to sort through the new photos before they return undoubtedly hungry!  I will add some pics in later, if I get the chance of course ;)  It's funny - I've missed them and have been texting Nik for updates but I have definitely enjoyed a bit of time to just do what I want for a little bit and apparently they're still happy too.  It's nice to be me again and not just Mummy the milk machine!  ;)

Update: You'll already know this if you follow me on instagram (where I effectively do mini-blogs!) but on their return I felt I was being punished for my afternoon off with an instant poosplosion followed by Priya throwing up her entire feed and then Kal at bedtime after a lot of screaming!  OH dear.  But then.... they slept through the night!  Priya slept from 9:30 til 5:30 - a whole 8 hours!!!  The max she's gone before has been 5-6.  Kal also slept from 11pm til 6am, such clever babies!  It meant I got a full 6 hours of sleep which was much needed after the week we've had - they even slept a bit longer too so I got about 9 hours in total - I felt amazing on Sunday!  As I write this update on Monday morning, we've had another good night, despite Nik being stuck at work all day and evening.  I had both babies screaming at me from about 5:30pm until I managed to get them each bathed (each bath was a reprieve although we did have the other twin screaming in the background while waiting!), fed and down to sleep.  Luckily though they both went down fairly quickly by about 7pm and I joined them at 8pm and we all slept 'til 12:30 and then 4.30am so I've had 8 hours of fairly undisturbed sleep.  I'm now about to join them back upstairs for a last wee nap now I've had breakfast and added my pics to this post :)  Hopefully we'll make it to baby group later this morning!


Lottie said...

Awwww! Life as a twin mummy sounds tiring but awesome! I am starting our next round of fertility to try for number two now our boy is one year old. Keeping positive that in the next few years I will also become a mum of two.

Give yourself a break on the weight front. Breastfeeding, in my experience, keeps the weight on a lot of mums and is certainly not the weight loss panacea that some breastfeeding supporters suggest it will be. Just be healthy, like you say, and be kind to yourself if you have an unhealthy day. Once my little one started sleeping better, like yours are starting to show signs of, I found that when I had had more sleep, weight loss came easier. In a lot of ways, you are still in 'survival' mode and need to accommodate for that ;) .

Unknown said...

I very much like reading your blog but totally get that for now life must be pretty full on! As for snacks do you get Graze boxes? They do a big box now that I get once a month with nuts etc, very handy. The little herby mix is excellent on top of soup as croutons instead of a sandwich. Also I know you probably struggle for time but do you have a slow cooker? Bunging some stuff in it just before bed could mean you have something tasty (and healthy) for the next day. I don't bother with the whole sealing meat etc when it is just for the Boyo and I. The Hairy Biker diet books have some great recipes I just tweaked for the slow cooker. I just let it cook overnight then either re-heat later for tea or once it has cooled bung the stuff in the freezer.

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