Monday, 30 September 2013

Our best embryo - video

by Bex

When I wrote about our most recent failure last Monday, I think I was still in a bit of shock.  It was, again, so unexpected and we'd been so excited to get to this next stage and have our, really good, embryos right there all ready to go inside and we were so ready for it, hoping to be lucky that one might implant and give us our much longed for child.  To have the whole thing called off because they simply couldn't get round a tight corner was devastating and I did struggle that night.  I hardly slept and spent most of the time I was in bed sobbing in Nik's arms and playing everything over in my mind.

It's one of the reasons I am glad everyone knows what's happening now as I was able to share the snippets of good news we did have.  The fact we even got embryos this time, the fact so many of them seemed good quality and the fact that although they were unable to implant them, they managed to freeze 6 of the 8 we had.  (We'd been told to prepare to have none left as they don't always make it to blastocyst stage in vitro which is required for freezing.)

I'm glad because, even though at times it feels like we get one step further just to take five steps back, we at least get to revel in the good news and share our good days with you all.  Sharing good news makes it so much more fun, to have all of your excited reactions added to ours is just magical.  And when it all goes wrong, having so many messages of support are a great distraction during the first day or so when coming to terms with yet more failure.

This time round as we made it far enough to have embryos incubated for the first few days while they are monitored, we paid extra for the Eeva system.  This basically monitors the embryos during the first 2 days with a camera and records high or low potential embryos depending on exactly when each cell-splitting stage occurs.  Obviously this is more accurate than them being checked intermittently by a human as we know exactly when each change happens as it's recorded by computer and can be checked back on the film.  This allows the embryologists to predict more accurately which embryos should make it to blastocyst stage.  It also means we don't have to wait to see which embryos make it to the next stage meaning they can go back in to a natural environment sooner, giving them a better chance.  It costs an extra few hundred pounds but given our low expectations of our embryos and the thousands we spend on each round, it seemed like a good investment to help us choose the most likely successful embryos for implantation!

A happy bonus of Eeva is that we received pictures of our two best embryos and a USB stick of information.  This USB actually contained videos of these two embryos so we could actually watch them change in sped-up time!  SO COOL!  I was fascinated watching the cells splitting over and over and the wobbly jelly-like movements of the cells.  I said I'd share it here and in the spirit of taking all we can get when it comes to celebrating any good news, we're thrilled at the fact that we do have such promising embryos in the hope that one day they will get inside me.

Like Lottie said on Twitter: 
amazing! Fertility treatment takes much enjoyment/normality away so little treats like this are worth a lot!!!!

Our fingers are crossed again that this next procedure is successful and they are able to gain access.  I can't even think about our alternatives yet as we've come so far and had everything thrown at us along this ride.  I would be utterly devastated if we fail to conceive over this simple issue of my angled uterus.  It was another unexpected hurdle and when they had to give up in theatre, I burst into tears as I just couldn't believe I was leaving there without my embryos inside me.  I feel like we haven't even had a real chance of getting pregnant yet as during these last 2 rounds we've never made it to the stage of reimplantation.  We know the majority of implantations fail, we just want our chance for it to work!  It's incredibly frustrating!

By the time we got home I had calmed down and just wanted to get it all out, written down and was just on robotic writing mode.  I knew everyone was waiting to hear how it went after the build up.  Like I've said before, it makes it easier for me if people know when things have gone wrong even more so than when they go well as that's when I tend to break down and need my friends to understand.


Amanda said...

Oh wow, this is absolutely so exciting, fascinating even. Those photos and videos are amazing, but more importantly I am so happy to hear they were able to freeze your embryos.
Crossing my fingers that the hysteroscopy will go well and that next time it will all work out. Hugs.

Gwen - TheFoodieHistorian said...

Wow! Just - wow! This is easily one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time. I really hope that the next procedure is successful. Wishing you all the luck xx

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


TOTS100 - UK Parent Blogs