Thursday, 20 March 2014


by Bex

Oh.  My.  God.

I still can't quite believe it!  They did it.  They got through the crazy cervix.  Our embryos survived and we have 2 of them inside me right now!  I'm officially an incubator!  It feels so weird.  We won't know if I'm actually pregnant for a couple of weeks but at least we have finally had our proper chance.  This entire experience over the last 18 months since being referred has been so difficult, hitting walls at each and every stage.  To have finally managed to get to the end point of treatment feels miraculous!

I know this doesn't mean anything.  It still might not, or never work.  But just having had a proper chance at last is a huge step and it means we can try again if this cycle fails.  It's not over yet and I really thought it would be.  I really was prepared for the end.

It turns out that despite a very trepidatious specialist doing our procedure and discussions of likely outcomes and possibilities including transmyometrial transfers (almost never successful), he was able to navigate my cervical canal with not too much trouble this time.  Having the MRI meant he could visualise the way in and he managed to get around all the bends and get our embryos where they need to be!  I am delighted and quite shellshocked.  It hasn't quite sunk in yet as this was the least likely result!

The little white spot in the circled grey smudge is the fluid containing our embryos, sitting in my endometrium!

Obviously it's not over yet and there could be more disappointment coming our way but I don't even care at the moment.  I'm just happy to have some hope back!  Plus, we'll be flying off to Thailand when we find out so either way, we'll have some R&R to look forward to whatever the outcome.  I'll either be diving or snorkelling, indulging in cocktail happy hours or sipping fruity concoctions.  :)

Thanks so much for all of your happy (and tearful in some cases) responses to our news on Instagram/Twitter on Monday!  Fingers crossed they stick!  Who knows, maybe we'll still get our 2 for 1 ;)

It worked! 

In the meantime I am trying to keep busy and think about it as little as possible, lest I drive myself mad wondering.  The first couple of days I took it easy, full on pyjama days, making lists for house selling/holiday planning and watching various TV shows and films while blogging.  On Wednesday I left the house to meet Roz for a lovely lunch at Jacker de Viande followed by some accidental (but minor) holiday shopping in Primark and H&M.  Afterwards I went for a swim because I have been trying to be healthier and swimming was actually encouraged by the doctors as a non-impact sport.  I only had to avoid exercise following the sedation for a day.  Plus, I will be wearing a bikini in 2 weeks so every little helps to tone up!  I have got lots more decluttering done and am generally feeling pretty good.

Today I have 2 more 'dates' with a couple of friends, Pammie in the morning for gooey hot chocolate at the Chocolate Factory and then Lynsay for bubble tea in the afternoon!  :)  I'll be in work on Friday morning before meeting Briony for lunch and then meeting a couple of estate agents for some valuations of our flat!  Keeping busy is certainly helping during this waiting stage.  I have a Yelp event on Saturday and a couple of nights out next week to look forward to as well and by then it will be just days until our holiday so whatever happens, I have lots to do.  Nik is kept busy at work as usual (he's been on nights again this week but since I've been home I've been able to see him in the mornings) but we have this weekend off together and I think we'll just concentrate on the big move as we have so much to organise!


steff said...

I'm so, so, so glad everything went to plan this time and hope it continues to do so! A cheeky wee 2 for 1 would just be the icing on the cake :) xx

Anonymous said...

So so pleased when I saw this news. Hoping and hoping that these little embryos cling on tight!
Lots of love and best wishes, Ali x

Kirsty | A Safe Mooring said...

I'm so, so pleased for you Bex. I was reading an old random blog post of mine this morning (does anyone else ever randonly browse their own archives? Just me??). In it, I quoted from a book Fin was reading that said you need three things to be happy in life: something to do, someone to love and something to hope for. You are always so great at having things to do and of course someone to love, but for the last wee while it seemed like the hope part was constantly moving just out of your reach. I'm so thrilled that you have that hope back - long may it continue.

Janie said...

Well I am just tickled to read this great big step forward to realising your dream. Meantime I will keep fingers and hairs on my head crossed. Keep up your incubation chick.

Fiona said...

I'm so glad for you and hope that everything continues to go well. Keeping everything crossed for you!

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