Monday, 14 November 2016

Brunch Club - My Mum Tribe by Bex

When we first moved here, I struggled finding my people.  The ones who I could call in tears or for laughs.  The ones who "get me" and could catch up over a cuppa with the kids or a glass of wine without them!  These people need to be close by, I've pined over how it would be with the kids in Glasgow - Roz and I and our littles would have been so awesome together and I miss our good times so much.  Although we still call and text (although even that is not often enough, it's hard when life is so, so busy) and we even stay with each other once a year or so, it's just not the same as meeting up regularly.  I struggled to find my new Roz (although, of course, you're irreplaceable Roz!!), someone local to hang out with regularly like we used to in Glasgow, even just round each other's flats to watch a DVD or have dinner.  We even did New Year's Eve together :)

I've made friends fairly easily since moving here via toddler groups and the like but there's always been that little spark missing or they already have a busy life with their current friends so it's never progressed past fun play dates and the odd coffee.  Or in the case of the amazing Katie, Caroline & Fee - really awesome catch ups, but they're just that little bit further away with an hour and a half trip as opposed to 5 minutes.  Ditto with Gemma who is just hilariously awesome but over an hour away on the train (although luckily not that far from my in-laws so we've managed to have a good few catch ups thank god!)  I was pretty lonely for a while down here.

I've certainly tried getting out there.  I joined a book club, I started my own baking club, I joined the new WI and became a committee member.  I met some lovely people but just hadn't found that connection yet to take any friendships outside of a particular group if you know what I mean?  Being on the committee at WI has been awesome as our meetings are a lot of fun and usually involve wine!  Again, though I haven't yet found a close friendship, possibly as the rest of the committee were all friends before, despite making me feel completely welcome and included, I'm not really part of their friendship group, maybe because they all have older children.  (Although there is one who also comes to my baking club and we're getting on really well so I have high hopes there!)

I certainly don't want to sound ungrateful for all of these friends as I do value them and have fun with them, life certainly wouldn't be interesting without them all!  In fact, I thought perhaps I was being unrealistic and should be happy with having a few separate friendship groups for certain aspects of life rather than trying to find someone I could enjoy more than one thing with.  Especially when you add in kids.  I'm pretty sure I could have some awesome nights out with some of my friends from post-natal class but we're all so busy!

Back in February though, I was invited along on a Mums' night out in the pub by someone I had met at twin group but seen little of since as she started a course and couldn't attend any more.  Not only did I hit it off with her but also her next door neighbour with whom I ended up shrieking excitedly (drunkenly) about our mutual love of the same books (and cocktails)!  They also happened to be friends with another lovely lady I met at a different baby group who invited me on another Mum's night out around the same time.

I invited them all (and their husbands) round for dinner and despite me unfortunately being a bit ill on the day, we had a wonderful time and have enjoyed a few more social events together over the last few months.  Recently, however, I feel we've become closer and when I suggested to Holly that we arrange a little book club just for friends, she was up for it and we've now had two awesome meetings and a cinema trip!  That in itself I've found to be much more fun than the other book club as we're much smaller, less formal and drink a lot of wine in each others' houses!  What better way to really get to know people?  (We've actually called it TBCWW - The Book Club With Wine.)  A few of these ladies have made the extra effort to get to know me, include me in things and invite me round to their homes, with AND without kids.

Anyway, getting to the point, I feel like I've finally found my people, fellow Mums with young children who get me and like lots of the same things as me, have the same sense of humour, the same sense of fun.  They love books.  And food.  And wine!  They all live in the next village.  These are the people I can rant to, laugh with, depend on, phone for a chat or phone for hugs.  I mentioned it on instagram at the time but on a particularly trying morning with the twins, all before 8am, I strapped them into the buggy and started wandering the village.  I called Holly for a chat and she bundled all 3 of her kids into her car to drive round and find me just to give me a hug and make plans for later.

After a bit of group chatting among five of us on messenger, I took the plunge and asked if they'd be up for a brunch club, once a month with the kids but just us five so it doesn't get too chaotic.  Luckily they thought it was a great idea and were all up for it!  So once a month, I book somewhere for us to go and we get together for a delicious brunch, catch up and help each other out with all the kids (seven kids under four).

The first of these was in October, at a lovely cafe called The Grove in Blackboys, a village nearby which I'd heard good things about.  I knew they were child friendly with plenty of high chairs and toys to keep the kids entertained.  The food was lovely too.

We all had so much fun, Mums and kids and I can't wait for the next one on Friday!

So there we have it.  My Mum tribe and their awesome ticklish kids.  I love them!


Lorri said...

What a lovely post. So pleased you've found your tribe. Couldn't live without my Mum chums. Been missing your blogs Beccy. Xx

Bex said...

Thanks Lorri, sorry I'm so rubbish at replying these days! Having these guys has made such a difference! :)

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